Thursday 9 February 2017

Girls Compete; Women Empower

Take yourself back to the 90's: The Spice Girls (my most favourite band ever) were bursting into the spotlight and "girl power" became a worldwide phenomenon.

More recently, everyone seems to have become a feminist, demanding that women are treated equal to men (which I am all for) and vocally expressing their support for other women.

This being said, why oh why are some women still acting, dare I say it, like bitches to one another?
I'm not even talking about teenage girls having a slanging match in the school yard. Think women in their late 20's to mid 30's; surely at that age the pettiness would be long gone?

What has alarmed me is that some women can seem to hunt in packs. If one of the women (usually the self appointed "Queen Bee") doesn't like someone, then the rest of the 'pack' isn't allowed to like that person either. I've witnessed it myself where women have been made to remove another person from their social media profiles, purely because the self appointed leader didn't like that person. God forbid if anyone were to object.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not sitting here saying that I have never slagged someone off before. I am fairly confident that the majority of us have done so at some point in time.

However, I do believe that there is a big difference between having a gossip and being a downright cruel, implacable bully.

Bully (noun): a person who uses superior strength or influence to harm or intimidate someone, typically to force them to do something. 

Up until recently I felt lucky that I didn't have people in my life who were like this. However, over time I started noticing little things that I wasn't comfortable with. Eventually, after an incident where my opinion didn't match the majority, I cut my ties. I thought it would be hard but honestly, I mainly felt relief that I was no longer surrounded by negativity and making sure I'd acknowledged everyone on a group message - even if I wanted to spend the day off of my phone.

I finally felt like myself again; positive and calm. Most of the time I'd only have my phone out to take a photo of Aoife.

What spurred me to write this post was that after weeks of calm, I became the subject of a mini online witch hunt. Enough so that I was told to take my "voodoo dolls" elsewhere. The best part was that the whole pack hunt was a result of me responding to a friends comment on a Facebook post.

Luckily for me, I don't take things lying down so I said my piece and utilised the block button - I definitely didn't need that negativity anywhere in my life. That one incident alone has shown me that my decision was definitely the right one and my thoughts and views were valid.

It's a shame, as some of those women I do like and still class them as friends. There's just a couple who I could no longer let myself associate with.

What worries me is that some women are weaker or more easily intimidated. I've become strong enough to not let drama like that affect me but that's not the same for everyone.

Whatever happened to supporting each other through thick and thin? To raising other women up, empowering them? 

I'd love to hear if others have experienced similar.


  1. I can't believe you've been subjected to such nasty comments online, how awful. It's such a shame that some women just can't be happy for others. I have to admit I'm not keen on the word feminist as I think the meaning of it has become a bit warped, but I'm all for women supporting one another.
    Alana x

  2. I agree with the feminist statement - everyone claims to be one but they don't know what it means. Women just need to be nice x

  3. This is worrying and highlights the darker side of social media. I have not experienced it myself but I am quite a lot older (nearly 50). You sound such a grounded, sensible person and you can see it for what it is. I, too, worry about the effect it could have on younger and less resilient women. It's as if the playground mentality has spilled over into adulthood and some people really need to grow up!