Monday, 17 June 2019

Surrogacy Stories | Katie's* Journey

Whilst my surrogacy journey is over (for now), I still want to help create awareness. I have decided to share other surrogates stories, along with stories from Intended Parents about their journeys into surrogacy.
My first post is from Katie* who is a first time traditional surrogate and has been kind enough to allow me to post her story.


"My first son aged 5 through a previous marriage was a difficult conception due to sperm issues. While looking into IVF via an egg share programme we were thrilled to find out we had fallen pregnant naturally. Although we were excited, I couldn’t help but feel guilty that I got my dream yet the person I would have shared my eggs with didn’t. Although we hadn’t even matched with anyone I still had this overwhelming guilt I had let someone else down. 
Since then I kept looking into the option to donate my eggs. However, I just never found the right time as I still wanted my own family to grow. 
I went on to re-marry the love of my life and luckily had two further children together, which we fell very quickly, had straight forward pregnancies and amazing labours and recoveries. 
In September 2018 I had our daughter, who is our final child. Although we knew she completed our family I just didn’t feel ready to hang up my womb. As soon as I looked into surrogacy I knew it was for me. I just had this niggling feeling left over from 6 years ago that I need to help someone else. I know the struggles to a small extent, the pain wanting a child soo desperately can cause and the impact it has on a relationship. 
In January 2019 I joined several surrogacy information groups and registered to attend an information day with Surrogacy UK. Initially I thought surrogacy had to go through an agency however after all the amazing support through the groups I got talking to a wonderful lady. We started of talking in general. All about a beautiful dress in her Facebook picture. People always say finding a great surrogacy relationship is like dating. I thought how strange but they were totally right. We went on to find things in common, likes dislikes and just grew a friendship. I had looked into surrogacy for information to complete a journey in 2020 due to holiday plans etc during 2019, however once we got talking I just didn’t want to wait. I wanted to be the one to help them achieve there dreams. 
Originally I had looked into being a gestational surrogate therefore using embryos made by the intended mums or donor eggs and intended father’s sperm. But once talking everything just felt so comfortable and natural from the beginning proceeding with traditional surrogacy seemed a perfect fit for our team. 
Immediately I started tracking ovulation, completely unexpectedly I got a positive test. Throughout Friday 5th April the positive tests just got stronger and stronger. We just knew we had to give it a go. So that night they visited my house and we done a home insemination. I’m sure I don’t need to describe how that works, but to cut the story to the point, it involves a sample pot and a syringe. The next morning I was still receiving positive ovulation tests so we decided to complete another sample transfer before they headed home.
Soo now on to the antagonising wait to find out if it worked. Of course it’s not going to? Surly we wouldn’t be lucky enough for the first time? It was just a trial run? Where all the thoughts going through our heads. But I just had this feeling we got lucky...!
On 15th April I took a first response test. Now I’m sure it’s a tiny line ? Trying to squint and flap the test around in different angles to see if I was seeing things. Through out the day the test got stronger and stronger. That little line was definitely getting darker. Omg did we really do it?  I quickly rushed to the shop for a digital pregnancy test as I had to stop looking at these lines. I needed to see it in words... which confirmed the same PREGNANT!!
Wow I was totally overwhelmed we achieved it. I arranged for some flowers to be delivered on the Tuesday evening once both off the intended parents were home from work to deliver the news. We done it ! A tiny human is growing! I’m even getting emotional now thinking about that moment, the feeling that I get to help them become parents is so amazing. I just can’t describe it in any other way. 
Soon the sickness kicked in and extreme exhaustion, along with the thoughts, what the hell have I done? Then I look at my children and just know these few months are nothing to give the gift off a child to someone forever. 
Our journey is only at the beginning with our 12 week scan approaching in just a few days but I already know how truly amazing it’s going to be. "
* names have been changed as per surrogates request.

If you are a surrogate or an IP who wishes to share their journey,  just drop me a message at thentherewere3@outlook.com
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