Wednesday 17 May 2017

Is My Child An Introvert?

'Solitude matters, and for some people, it's the air they breathe'
Susan Cain
Something has been playing on my mind for a while now; something that I never thought I would question, especially this soon on into my daughter's life. Is Aoife an introvert, a loner (don't shoot me for using that word!)?
Whilst I class myself quite lucky in having a lot of mummy friends, the majority of these don't live local and with Aoife being an only child (for now), I wonder if I have deprived her of any socialisation?
When she was five months old I enrolled her at a private nursery to help her with social development. Looking back she was way too young for me to even be considering this, but I really wanted to do what was best for at the time - I also enjoyed the break once a week too!
She grew to absolutely love nursery and would happily run inside and not even glance back when I dropped her off.
However, recently I had noticed her becoming visibly upset when I left and wanting me to stay; when I spoke to the nursery workers about this they assured me that it only lasts a few minutes and then she is completely fine. Of course, a part of me will always want to see this for myself - it's times like this where I wish there was a live feed that I could use to watch her during the day.
Despite the nursery workers attempts to reassure me, whenever I collect her she seems to be playing alone or hanging around the back of the group when singing or listening to stories. I think the only times where I have seen her in the thick of it is when there's food involved; no surprises there!
It's been niggling away in my mind for months now and the pregnancy hormones are definitely not helping - whenever she gets upset about me leaving her I just want to scoop her up and take her home. Unfortunately for her, and me, I have to go to work and she has to endure other children for almost 11 hours.
When she is around other children in a smaller setting, like our home, she is great with them and loves to play and chase them. I don't know whether her being one of the younger ones in her nursery group has an effect as the older ones are more developed socially?
After expressing my concerns to some mummy friends, they all advised that this is completely normal; that two year olds tend to play side by side than with each other. Having researched online, I have found that this is the case, however it really doesn't stop me from worrying about her.
I was a bit of loner when I was younger; I preferred time to myself reading than playing with other children. In all honesty, I would say I am still rather introverted and much prefer my own company than that of others - but I think a lot of people my age can say that now.
I truly just hope that she is a happy madam and does have a ball when I leave her at nursery - the guilt has been eating at me for weeks now and despite now knowing that it is normal, I just can't shake it.
I'd love to know if anyone else has or is experiencing this with their toddler too!


  1. I think there is such a push for kids to be sociable, to take part, to be involved. I know when my now-teenage son was younger and an only child I felt I had to encourage him into clubs to get him "out there." He enjoyed nursery and all his clubs, but now as a teenager we can't get him to see friends or hang out with anyone except one close friend on a very irregular basis! My husband gets quite wound up about this, about him being a loner, but I can appreciate now that he is an introvert and it's no bad thing. He takes after me, really. I also don't think you can make a child one way or another, as obviously my son is just happier in his own company. It's probably important to offer them social opportunities, and probably nursery is even more vital for quieter kids as prep for the years they'll spend at school, but ultimately they will find what's best for them.

  2. I think all children go through this and it's just them figuring out who they like and dont. When Harry first went to school and didnt really know anyone I felt bad but he's happy so i am too #PostsFromTheHeart