One of the main questions that I was asked during my surrogacy pregnancy was "Will you go again?" and my answer was always "No". After the scare we had at seven weeks, I didn't feel secure or safe enough with my own body to risk it. Plus, I had my own girls to think about too.
Over the last year and a half, I have gotten to know many surrogates, the majority of whom have done multiple journeys. When I mentioned I would only consider doing one journey, I was met with "I'll ask again once you've given birth" and other similar quotes. The surrogates I had gotten to know described it as an addiction of sorts; an addiction to pregnancy, labour, to creating families.
Now I enjoy pregnancy and labour, I really do. I enjoy having a bump and feeling kicks, the excitement of going to a scan, the impending delivery and not knowing when the little one will arrive. But an addiction? I will be honest in saying that I laughed at the thought.
This question is still the number one question I am asked, at almost four weeks postpartum. Now, if this was asked during the throes of labour, I would have yelled profanities. I actually do think that I did say at one point to the babies parents, "don't ever ask me to do this again".
And yet I knew, within an hour of that little baby being born on Bonfire Night, that I wanted to do this journey again. Within an hour, I finally realised what all the other women meant when they described surrogacy as an addiction. I needed to do this journey again.
Now I am fully aware that I may only be lucky enough to complete one journey - if that is how surrogacy is set for me, then I will be happy with that. Not content by all means, but happy. I may not be as successful as before with getting pregnant, my original IPs may not want a sibling journey, or I may not meet another couple that I click with.
Realistically, if I were to embark on another journey, it wouldn't be until both of the girls are in full time school. Florrie is only 15 months, so it'll be a few years away. I am also looking to hopefully go back to uni; if I am successful with that, then any subsequent surrogacy will have to wait until I graduate.
Also, in order to try my best to avoid a repeat of the suspect heterotopic pregnancy, I would prefer fertility treatment without medication. Also due to the fact that I hate needles! Having to have someone inject me twice a day for almost two weeks was torture - I would take labour over it any day!
So, if I were asked the same question now? My answer would be "I hope so" - not a definite yes as we all know things don't always go to plan. But, if the opportunity arose then I can hand on heart say that I would love it. The fact that this journey has been amazing, despite the scares, has helped. I was lucky enough to have the least eventful pregnancy I have ever had and the most straight forward labour too.
Surrogacy definitely is an addiction and it is one that I would happily embrace with open arms.
What a beautiful thing to do for someone, but like you said you do have to be 100% sure your body can cope if you were to do it again.
ReplyDeleteSuch a lovely thing to do for someone.
ReplyDeleteJust wow! What a wonderful, selfless thing to do!
ReplyDeleteI read about surrogate moms, and I admire them. We also used the service of a surrogate mother for the birth of our child. This is a very complicated and probably the most serious step in the life of parents. We chose a clinic for a long time, searched all over the world and made our choice in Ukraine. There is a clinic of donation and surrogacy which is called Feskov Human Reproduction Group. We chose a surrogate mother remotely by photo and questionnaire, and when we decided - we went to get acquainted. We liked her very much, and it was wonderful, because she did give us a child. Thanks to all surrogate mothers for their patience and desire to help barren families!
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